As part of my spiritual practices I have once again been allowing myself to to enter into the realm of tender loving kindness. For me, there is something of an effort in this: a connecting to the heart in an act of intimacy, of making close contact with HER. For the heart is soft and feminine and extremely delicate. This requires patience and great gentleness, especially when we are experiencing some hurt.

 One of the challenges we have as humans is that when we are activated into our pain body, we experience an automatic response of aversion and a desire to move away from or reject the pain as it manifests in our body. This is how we have defended ourselves from this pain our whole lives. Instead with heart work we move towards our pain with tender loving kindness. This is the true source of all emotional healing.


 When one truly makes contact with the heart, there is a warm glow that arises in the heart. And when one begins to think from the heart – there is a very different quality of thinking than when it is a top down mental level type of thinking. It is deeper, wiser,  quieter and more compassionate towards oneself and others.

 How do we make this contact with our hearts when we live in such a mental level culture where everything is about analyzing, critiquing and fixing?

 Some things that can help:

 The gentle intention to be kind to oneself. 

Recognizing and setting healthy boundaries with Inner Critics and Bullies.

 Placing a hand gently over the heart to bring ones awareness to this often forgotten spot.

 Listening to music that is heart centered such as J S Bach, John Tavener, Arvo Part.

What are ways that you cultivate tender loving kindness in your heart?

 Blessings, Robert Cornell



About spirittherapist

The integration of spiritual and psychological work. Robert B. Cornell Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) Robert has been practicing marriage & family therapy for 14 years. He is experienced in the areas of depression, anxiety, spiritual direction, vocational counseling, and recovery work. He enjoys working with individuals, adults, and young adults. His work incorporates cognitive-behavioral, acceptance & commitment, depth psychology, humanistic-existential, and psychodynamic therapies. Robert is in the process of publishing a book on psycho-spiritual growth entitled, “Fifty Ways of Letting Go”.
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