One could reasonably say that our egos are totally structured around the need to defend ourselves from what we believe at our core we could not tolerate experiencing. From this standpoint, our spiritual path is to let ourselves make contact with what we are terrified to experience. This may sound too dark, too negative and too dramatic but if we examine many of the saints and revered spiritual people in our spiritual traditions, this is what they were willing to surrender to: the Buddha in his meditations, Christ on the Cross, Saint John of the Cross in his Dark Night of the Soul, St Anthony of the Desert, Milarepa facing the three demons in the cave.


 To make this movement of surrender there must be great love, love and compassion for ourselves and love of the Truth that goes beyond the confines of our tight narrow confined egoic self. We cannot do this work from a place of self rejection for that is just more of the egoic self, wishing we were different than we were. The paradoxical thing is that when we allow ourselves to fall into the direct experience of our sadness, our fear, our sense of deficiency, our loneliness, our anger and even our resistance to feeling what we feel, a softening occurs. We are no longer fighting with ourselves. We are not engaged in a pity party, we are just attending to what is present right now, in our field of awareness. And that is what brings the healing, the making whole. What we feared would be the end of us is the entrance to the beginning of a new life, freed from egos demands and limitations.



About spirittherapist

The integration of spiritual and psychological work. Robert B. Cornell Licensed Marriage & Family Therapist (LMFT) Robert has been practicing marriage & family therapy for 14 years. He is experienced in the areas of depression, anxiety, spiritual direction, vocational counseling, and recovery work. He enjoys working with individuals, adults, and young adults. His work incorporates cognitive-behavioral, acceptance & commitment, depth psychology, humanistic-existential, and psychodynamic therapies. Robert is in the process of publishing a book on psycho-spiritual growth entitled, “Fifty Ways of Letting Go”.
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